About Teens And Pregnancy? Am I one Of those you Consider Irresponsible?

I was 15 when married, and had my son at 15.... I turned 16 2 months after, WE DID NOT get married for our son, we were already engaged, we did decided though to marry sooner than planned. I am now 20yrs old, still married to him and we are expecting our 2nd child. I am not a normal teen pregnancy, but why do all the teens get lumped into one thing? I mean I have had hate mail just because I was a young mother.... Why? Am I really one of those cases that you people consider irresponsible?

About Teens And Pregnancy? Am I one Of those you Consider Irresponsible?
I think it is safe to say that the majority of teens are having unprotected sex. Myself though i do feel it is wrong, i would rather there be a little less hatered toward teens who do end up pregnant, because that causes them to feel like there is no one there who understands and is there to help, then they feel that they need to get abortions, and not try to be responsible for their actions.


People need to realize that once you have reached the time in your life that you can get pregnant you are just as irresponsible as the 20 year old who has unprotected sex and end up pregnant.





I do think you did it the right way. And if people start telling you, you are too young to be married tell them to screw off becuase age is just a number, it has to do with how you feel and your maturity level.
Reply:I am also one of those so called teens but i think me and my bf are doing well hes got a great job and we are very responsible. I dont really care what other ppl think Report It

Reply:I dont think that you are irresponsible at all. You took care of your baby, and things happen but that doesnt make you irresponsible. A lot of my friends have had and are going through the same thing you went through.But I think its wrong to be getting hate mail because you were a young mother...People are just jerks sometimes.
Reply:I don't think you are irresponsible at all, I am glad to see you were married before having the baby. I am just curious as to why you would want to be married and have a baby at 15. I guess I was raised differently and at 15 all I cared about was getting my drivers license and hanging out with friends. I absolutley loved my 20's and I am turning 25 this year and getting married and we are talking about having a baby. I don't know I guess everyone is different, but if you can't even spell pregnant, then you should not be having babies.
Reply:i dont thnk that teen moms should get "bashed" or "hated" on.....they are only human and make mitakes.
Reply:People often forget that teenagers have feelings to, and that they where once a teenager themselves. Having a child does not make you irrisponsible, it doesnt make any teen irrisponsible. Alot of them just make mistakes, which is normal even adults make mistakes. I had a oops with my boyfriend when i was 16, unfortunatly i miscarried but i most certainly didnt consider myself a irrisponsible teen, i didnt do drugs or drink and the only guy i had sex with was my boyfriend who i dated for 4 years, my mom was however one of those moms who you couldnt talk to about birthcontrol and i got one of those wonderful condoms that broke lol. In your case you seem very happy and content in your sittuation and its a shame that all the other pregnant teens cant have a sittuation like yours, i feel so bad for many of them that dont have the support of their family and friends. My sister had my little nephew when she was 16, he is almost 4 now and she is a great mom and had the support of her family. Congats on your pregnancy!
Reply:I wouldn't say that you were irresponsible, but you guys both still have the kid-meaning you didn't adopt it out or have an abortion. I give you props for being married at 15 and still married at 20.


good luck on your 2nd child!!!





P.S. most teenagers that are that young that get pregnant are irresponsible and are not thinking of the consequences
Reply:your not irresponsible you did the right things except for using a condom
Reply:Well, I wouldn't send hate mail to any teen mother no matter what her circumstances, but that doesn't really answer your question.





I think 15 is too young to get married. I don't care how mature you were, or how in love you were, or whatever, I just think it's too young, and I'm pretty sure there is absolutely nothing anyone could say that would change my mind. Having lived more than twice that long, I know how much I and EVERYONE ELSE I KNOW changed between then and now. It's far too soon to be making decisions that will impact the entire rest of your life.





Since I don't think a person at 15 is equipped to make decisions like marriage, I also don't think they are equipped to be parents. Can a teen mother be a good mother? Yes. Would she be a better mother later in life? Yes. Life experience and the difference in education, finances, etc. that usually comes with it just add up to better parenting skills. I think it is selfish to bring a child into the world if you aren't truly ready to be a parent, and just like I can't be convinced that a 15-year-old should be getting married, I can't be convinced that a 15-year-old is truly ready to be a parent. At 15, you are still a child with a lot of growing up to do. I'm sure you love your child and are as good a parent as you can be. You're probably a better parent than some older people. But that doesn't change my belief that you'd have been a better parent if you'd waited longer.





Maybe I'm a snob, maybe I'm wrong, but I just feel on an instinctive level (and I believe I'm backed up by most research) that teen parents in general are not as effective at parenting as older parents, married or not.





I would not consider you irresponsible. I would consider your parents irresponsible for allowing you to get married at 15.
Reply:NO - you sound responsilbe to me. Yes, you got engaged, pregnant and married at a very young age. But back when our grandparents were kids, they were getting married and having babies at 13. You are still with the same guy, don't worry about what other people say. Just be a good mom and enjoy your life.
Reply:I applaud you - that is remarkable and you both must be remarkable people!


I have known teenage mothers, some were irresponsible, some were not. My own grandmother was 17 when she married and had her first of 6! She never finished HS, but is one of the most brilliant women I could ever be blessed to know (and I'm not just saying it because she's my grammy).


When someone becomes pregnant in their teens and steps up and takes responsibility and is a good parent - who am I to say it's wrong? Things happen. I wish all children were brought into this world by loving, stable, married couples but this is not the world we live in.


My mom was 21 when she had me and she was not married. Some of the mistakes she made (later married an abusive husband who made my life a living hell for 15 yrs) would never be made by MOST teenagers, I think.


In my opinion, age does not make someone a good or bad parent - it's all about the love in your heart and your determination to give your children the best upbringing possible.
Reply:No it is case by case. I am sure some were bothered you got married at such a young age as your are still, or at least at 15, a child in many people's eyes. You aren't the norm but often the parent is going to come out when someone see a child they believe making a mistake. Good luck and God bless.
Reply:to get preganant so young does seem irresponsible but the entire word of irresponsibility washes away when you have continued on with life and made more responsible choices. Never doubt yourself you are the one which lives you life and the choices you make. I give you a pat on the back or sticking to your guns. Best wishes fo ryou and your huisband. and of course your children. Keep up the good work
Reply:Wow, married at 15! Where do you live? Anyway, I say as long as you are able to provide for your child and not live off the government then people should leave you alone.
Reply:No, I don't think people consider you to be irresponsible. But I do think that people tend to lump all the teens into one category because you're all so young! Of course everyone is different. Some teens are much more mature and responsible than others. Some teens are naive, completely dependent on others, uneducated and are very immature! So, it's wrong for people to just automatically assume that you're irresponsible just because you're young and have a child. I can, however, see how people might lump you into the same category with all the other irresponsible teens. You had children before you gave yourself the chance to experience life!





At 15 you're just starting your education! I think it's important that everyone goes as far as they can in school just to better themselves and receive an education before getting married or having kids. It's only fair to the children they'll have that they're capable of teaching their babies something! Not to mention being able to take care of themselves! I'm not saying that if you don't finish school you're stupid... I just think that you're missing out on a lot when you have to quit early. Even at 18 I think it's too young to decide to have children. Regardless of whether or not the pregnancy is accidental, it seems irresponsible because the young parents haven't given themselves the opportunity to grow up before becoming instant adults. How could you possibly teach and take care of a child, when you yourself are a child? Know what I mean?





Anyway, I think it's sad that people will automatically assume that your pregnancy was accidental and your marriage was forced. Congrats to you for sticking it out with all the odds against you! You're obviously doing SOMETHING right since you're still with your husband and expecting baby #2. Right? So, I wouldn't let other people bother you. When you have a hard time dealing with criticism from other people, just try to imagine how they see it through THEIR eyes. All they know about you is that you were 15 when you had your first baby and got married. That's easy to criticize when you don't have the whole story or know the person intimately. Know what I mean?





Just keep your head high... ignore the hate mail... and know that there ARE some people out there who don't judge before they have all the facts. Take care, keep smiling and CONGRATS on baby #2!
Reply:I would not classify you as one of those "irresponsbile teens". Its not the age that matters its the maturity of the person that matters. There are some GREAT teen/young parents out there and at the same time there are some horriable 20,30,40 year old parents out there. You and your husband took responsbilty for your actions which is very commendable especially at such a young age. Its good to see that yall are still together and happy that is why sterotypes are useless %26amp; stupid.





Good luck %26amp; congrats on the upcoming baby!
Reply:Yes and No, i think you probably should have waited to have kids and used precautions, but sometimes things just get crazy and stuff happens. It is a little irresponsible. BUT you getting pregnant should never give anyone the right to judge you, if anything they should have stood by you, not supporting what you did, but to help you in a time of need. People are Mean. I know how that is :(
Reply:If you married him before you had the child, love him, and are not promiscuous, then I don't think that you are irresponsible. Anyway, it only matters if YOU think that you're irresponsible. Good luck on your next child!
Reply:yes and no at that age i doubt u both had full time jobs and were financial stable in ur own home to have the baby then again 5 yrs later urstill married and are having a second baby so now u would be out of the category so it just depends good luck..
Reply:No I wouldnt consider you the normal "teen stat"
Reply:hey as long as you have a stable environment to support that child then i say go for it!


i dont think all teen moms fall into the same category.
Reply:No I would not consider you irresponsible. It's awesome you and your hubby are still married and expecting another baby!!!!


I am also tired of people lumping teen moms into the "ya'll shoulda just kept your legs closed" category.


Lol. I was 18 when I concieved, already been married for a few months when we found out. I was on birth control. It was unexpected, but we were both very excited once we knew for sure. We are in a place where financially anyways, we're more than ready for the baby.
Reply:there are alot of people out there that think kids should not be having kids. yes 15 is young to be married and have a child.i have my first when i was 18 had my 2nd when i was 21 and got married when i was 23 and there are some people that say i was to young too.
Reply:I don't think anyone on the internet can tell you that. If you are providing for that child, and paying your bills on your own, and not using gov. assistance, more power to you. If you are however, yes you are one of those irresponsible teens.
Reply:I dont think its irresponsible to have ababy when your a teenager or get married when your a teenager.....I think it just make life harder, but as long as you are commited to your baby and your spouse than you will find a way.





I was engaged at 18 got married 2 weeks after I turned 19 I'm now pregnant and will have my baby a few months after I turn 20.





I'm sorry you got hate mail that really sux.





I think teenagers (or people period) who are irresponsible are the ones who dont use birth control... get pregnant multiple times.......and then have an abortion.





If you think your old enough to have sex and make adult decision then you need to be responsible enough to take care of whatever those decisions created!
Reply:Girl i got married in january of this year,and im 18 expecting a child in september we also didn't know we was pregnant during our wedding everyone assumes thats why we got married though(WHATEVER)Thats just how the world is these days ignore them,and enjoy your life...:)