Teen age problem. I need to hear from teens?

I am a mother of a teen age daughter. She is 16


and in10th grade. Her 'boyfriend' was arrested for


being in possesion of a narcotic and bringing it to


school. My daughter wants to give the guy another


chance but I have told her to distance herself from


this guy. The boy has contacted her and I have


talked with this boy. I told him I want her to keep


her distance and to just be friends. Now she is


upset and his older brother is calling me with all


kinds of stories about the incident. The two brothers want to meet with us so the boyfriend


can explain. My gut says to stick with my


decision and keep her away from this boy.





Okay teens and olders, I would love your imput.


Please be clean in your answers and honest.

Teen age problem. I need to hear from teens?
i am 15, a freshman girl. i think you should meet the guy and discuss it with him. try to keep an open mind, because there could be a very good explanation, however for the moment at least, it probably is better for her to not be so involved with him, unless there is something important about the situation that you don't know about yet. i think it's probably in everyone's best interest if your daughter agrees with you on this one, and wants him to get away from drugs. if it is she who wants to have him change, he is more likely to want to do it, and they will probably resent you less.





i hope this was at least kind of helpful.
Reply:Dont show her it bothers you, just try to keep her away without letting her know what your doing. What could be explained about bringing narcotics to school? If he isn't smart enough to avoid being caught with narcotics than you really need to keep her away, he might do alcohol%26amp;driving as well, or something else($ex). If he is actually a nice kid, then there is no reason to recognize it as a problem, but i don't know him or her. If hes just a thug keep her away.
Reply:Don't let the guy go out with her again...She will understand in the future
Reply:well, i am also 16 and in 10th grade and want to know how could your daughter ever be stupid enough in the first place to date a guy who does drugs? she should stay away from him, people don't become sober overnight. if the guy really cares about her anyway, he'll understand why they can't see each other anymore. stick with your gut feeling. she'll thank you in the long run.
Reply:Ok, well I am fifteen, and in highschool. This is kinda not the same type of issue, but it could lead to it. First of all, he was into DRUGS. That is already a bad thing. And I have seen that kind of stuff screw up so many pplz lives. And its the truth that once you start its hard to stop, like so many other things. Just recently there was a shooting at my school. the GF had broken up with her BF and he got really mad and upset, but they were having serious issues. This guy you are talkin about seems like he could be trouble. And even tho your daughter won't like your decision, it may be best to distance them. I know I would be ticked at you for this if i was your daughter, but since im not in that seat i can see the logic in your thinking. I really think you need to monitor the situation and see how involved they are with one another. Maybe talk to the guy yourself a bit, see why he did this, maybe talk to his parents and arrange times where they can visit eachother if they do stay in the relationshipbut maybe make sure one of the parents are present. Talk to your daughter that if he does drugs or anything that she needs to tell someone so he can get help, and that she needs to know not to do that kind of stuff, because It can ruin both their lives. I hope this in some way helps,and i say go with your motherly instinct to protect your daughter and do what is best, even though she may have an attitude towards you for a while, its better that than her get into something that will mess up her life.





P.S%26gt; though it is only a tv show, "Degrassi" is a really good show, although it is a bit mature, it shows what happens in highschool, it goes into drugs and other things about pressure and other things, and maybe you and your daughter could watch that as well. It may help to actually see how things can affect your life, except it's not YOUR life you have to learn those mistakes with.
Reply:I think you have made the right decision in trying to protect your daughter, but maybe if she goes with someone like that now, she will become wary of other people that are like that.





Personally i think you should organise to meet with them to hear his point of view. Your daughter may decide for herself that she doesnt want to continue seeing him.
Reply:i have to say and i am being honest give him one more chance if your daughter really likes him and make that trust up with her and let the BOY TALK TO YOU to make sure that you understand what happend the way it did





you don't have to take my advice but i am just saying that could be the right decision
Reply:ok so im 14 and 1st of all NEVER ban us from anyone or anything it makes us wanna do it more and im sure if ur daughter likes this guy then there must be something good about him. talk to her and find out why she likes him soo much and then maybe you might find your self to understand her and him more and also you could sit down and have a talk with the guy and see how hes feels about your daughter and im sure you will see that there is some good in the situation
Reply:oh my god dont let her go out with him. Believe me i would know. (im 13) just think of what 16 year olds can do. my ex did drugs and i went down a path i shouldnt have. please save her. :[
Reply:Well, forcing her to stay away from him will only make her want to be with him even more. You just need to lay down some rules for her so that it looks like she is in control, but you are still the one who's really in control. It's a reverse psychology kind of thing. If she wants to give the guy another chance, let her, but monitor them more closely. (but not stalkingly of course)
Reply:well...i say you should listen to the boyfriend and hear his explanation...then if you feel it is not really sincere listen to your gut...later on your daughter will understand your decision whatever it may be...lots of hope your work out this problem
Reply:i'm almost 15. I think your making the right decision for your daughter. This guy could possibly be a bad influence and get your daughter involved with something bad. It might be very hard for her, but I think its the best decision. There are plenty of other men available for your daughter anyways.