Have you caught your teen (14-17 yrs old) drinking or doing drugs, smoking? Did you have a very stong suspicion or evidence they did or are? What did you do? Did it work or is it working? What about the people they hang around if you know or think they are drinking/drugs/smoking? Any teens been through this and have advice? I would just like to hear other opinions or stories out there. Thanks.
Teens - Drug/Alcohol/Cigarettes Question?
Well, my mother was a drug addict so when my dad found out that I was smoking pot at 16, he freaked! He had always been strict but this was the firs ttime that I didn't get grounded or anything. He freaked out and said, "I wash my hands of you!" (He didn't mean it, I just don't think he knew what to do.) Then, throughout the years, he found seeds and I know that he knew I was smoking it, but I honestly didn't think he cared as I was an overachiever and never got into any trouble and certainly didn't turn out like my mom.
You see, my dad did the best thing for me to prevent me from becoming a drug addict.... HE RAISED ME RIGHT!!! He fostered my intelligence and free thinking and honestly, I think that is WHY I do drugs inthe first place, but it is also why I never F'ed up my life. I'm too smart. I also never wanted to disappoint him. Therefore, I drank, smoked and even popped pills all in MODERATION and still began a successful life. I'm 26 years old now, I have a college degree and a good job. I also work part time waiting tables in the evening to pay off my college debt. You see that's the other thing, whereas my father could afford to pay for college and for me to not even work, he always said, "Why should I give you all that free time to party?" He taught me to be responsible. That's the best thing you can do as a parent. He knows I still smoke and he knows I like to drink, but he also knows that I don't do anything stupid like drive while intoxicated or carry pot around on me. And if that was the one thing my mom taught me, it was a good thing: "Don't do anything stupid!"
You also need to be honest with your kids about drugs. Like don't tell your kids that pot is as bad as heroin cause once they try pot (and most do) they will realize that it's not that bad and will be more likely to try heroin too,,,, AND that's something I have never done and will never do.
So, teach them responsibility first off and then be honest and straight forward with them. They'll appreciate it and benefit from it for years to come.
Reply:Well yes i'm 19 now or i wil be in 11 days but when i was younger BOTH my older sister and I did drugs and drank etc...i started at 12 so watch out..no i'm not proud of this but i do have to say my mom never thought i'd do anything like that...i was a smart girl i just got in with the wrong people and wanted to hang out with the older crowd i guess...it was right after my mom and dad divorced and she had to work nights at madera county Jail to have good pay ....we'd party all the time and act all innocent..after a while i started having sex etc...got with bad bfs etc..i did a lot of different drugs and i regret hurting myself as well as people close to me....My mother caught on eventually...the best thing was her snooping...i hated it at the time...but i'm happy she did it now...listening to conversations from people...or if you have a lot of friends coming over and you think they are doing drugs or drinking etc...confront them and their parents..my mother did and to be honest with you..a lot of the parents were in denial about what their kids were doing...it so sad now looking back and knowing my friends did so much drugs and their parents would never have thought they did...for me she would come in my room at all hours to see what we were up to....she had every right it was her house..and since we were under age at the time we didn't have a right privacy as she would say..Locks taken off doors since we shouldn't have them any ways at that age....she'd ask where we were going with who..and who'd be there..she tell us when to be home and when we did come home shed want to look at us smell our breath etc..i hated that too then but now i'm happy cuz i know how much she tried to keep us from going down that road...she'd also look at our eyes with a lil light since she was a nurse and the pupil should respond quickly and if it doesn't usually thats from a downer and if they stay large or larger than normal then usually its an upper...like MethAmphetamine..thats what we did a lot...so SNOOPING is the best thing...watch the number on their phone whos calling a lot..how much money they use..if you have anything missing..money etc..they will lie until they are caught..WE DID..drugs make you into a whole new person i know because i have been THERE...MONITOR MONEY USAGE! attitude is different than before..thats also a sign...new group of friends etc...less social with you etc..i really can't think of more right now....but my mom put me into a ABC(Adolescent Behavioral Clinic) and it helps some..nd others will only stop when they want to..BUT DON"T EVR GIVE UP ON THEM! MY MOM DIDN'T! she wasn't ever gonna give up..she said she was gonna try to help us if she did til her last breath..well now my sister is 24 just got out of a 6 month inpatient rehab from Salvation army and shes been clean for 8 months and i have been clean for 9 months...it was hard for my mom and there were times she wanted to give up and we wanted to give up on life...but she did everything in her power each day to keep us away from friends etc..who did she turned people in got them locked away...we moved changed number etc...do anything you can to get them to stop using...trust me they will thank you later...Oh and BTW my sister and I both had job interviews yesterday that went very well and i'm in college to become a Registered Nurse So it paid off...need to know anything else let me know...
*Shannyne*
Reply:My niece got caught doing cigarettes and was punished for a month she went to school, came home went to bed. She even couldn't play on her basketball team for the opening game, which not only sucked for her, but them as she was the best player on the team.
Now, i also had a nephew, different parents, confess to trying a cigarette he said he hated it, and told them he knew it was wrong, he didn't get punished.
My kids aren't old enough yet
Reply:if you SUSPECT they are doing drugs %26amp; alcohol, then you are probably RIGHT. Go on your "thoughts" before the problem gets out of hand. A counselor, Alateen can also help you. good luck. There are NA meetings for young people only!! they feel alone; and they will get the support that they need from others in their same age group and situations! good luck
Reply:i have kids that age. they dont do any of that stuff yet... u can buy an over the counter drug test. when they hang with friends i dont like i let them know how i feel and they do see why im saying it and know i am right. u have to be open and honest with ur teenagers about drinking, drugs. i have told mine not to do drugs. and for drinking i have told them not to but come on we all do it so my rule is no matter what time if u drink i will come and get u no questions asked i would rather wake up at 3 in the morning to go get my child then they drive or get in a car with a drunk. and my child has been to ppl house and they have offered a drink and she told them maybe later. they said well u cant leave if u do and she said my mom will get me no questions asked and her friends have told me this so i know my child does listen when i talk to her
Reply:my mum has caught me doing all three at 15. with the drinking she said it was ok in moderation (my doctor had already suggested i have a glass of wine a night to relieve pain but she caught me pissed on vodka), with the smoking she was more upset and confiscated my cigarettes (i bought more but stopped smoking after 6 months, when i turned 16, cos it wasn't fun when it was legal) and with the drugs she said it was ok for me to try pot but she didn't want me doing it regularly.
Reply:If my parents asked me (when I was a teen), I would have lied. I think a parent's got to snoop. PS I don't have teens, but I was one
Reply:When I was a teen I smoked (ciggerettes and pot) and drank. It was pretty obvious everytime I walked in the door...I probably reeked of smoke. My parents just sat me down and told me they noticed I smelled like ciggerettes whenever I came home and asked me if I was smoking. If you approach your teens calmly and tell them you will not get angry with them, there's a good chance they will tell you the truth. From there you can just have a civil conversation about what else they are doing, how you feel about it. Tell them you dissaprove but don't tell them they CAN'T do it anymore because they will anyways. If they know you know and you are not angry about it, they will have no reason to hide things from you, you will be closer, and you will know whats going on in their lives.
P.S. I'm talking ciggerettes and alcohal here...if there is a biggger drug problem, get help.
Reply:Well, I was very close with my mom and she knew everything that i did, From smoking pot to taking extacy, to having sex....She just figured i needed to find out the hard way what happens, she didnt punish me...well cant say that completely cause she did, esspecially when i did Extacy....but i ended up doing every weekend friday and sat night and wasting all my money, well when I was 16 i got pregnant....big reality check for me...I stopped everything even smoking i grew up real quick! sometimes i wish kids would realize what they are doing and care but they dont....
They have no idea what it is like in the real world...now i have a 6 year olds son and 23 years old and i married the father!! I am very happy!! just tell them other people stories be there friend...be there for them dont hound them!! GOOD LUCK!!
Reply:i'm a teen and my opinion is to let teenagers be teenagers. I have observed the ways my parents try to teach us and i've dissagreed with them so much, and i think if they made different decisions, they would have turned out with better kids. I think the only time a parent needs to punish a kid for drinking or drugs is when they get caught by the law, or the parent them self has caught them a few times. If you only have a suspicion about your kid possibly doing drugs, or drinking then i think they are fine. Becuase if you arent sure, and they havent gotten caught doing anything wrong, then they are being smart about what they are doing and you usually shouldnt have to worry about them. But if they are getting caught and getting in to serious problems and trouble, then they are not being smart about the decisions they are making and then its time for a parent to step in.
Reply:My parents have caught me drinking around 6x i usually come home throwing up and passed out thats how they catch me they dont really care as long as im responsible ((no driving or anything like that)) they let me have my spacee and no they dontknow ive smoked weed but there is only so much parents should know i wouldnt reccomend being over the top about it let them have there space bc if not they might rebel. ps im only 16 and my parents have known since i was 14 a lot of teeens do it just dont let it get out of hand
Reply:My parents don't care if I drink or smoke pot, as long as I'm being responsible and not doing anything stupid. The first time I smoked was with my mother... My parents always told me that they would rather me do it with them than do it with my friends and get in a car afterward... My parents have always been pretty liberal. Because of that I don't drink or smoke much, it's not seen as a form of rebellion like it is for most other teens.
insoles
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