Mom's of teens and teens, please answer if this involves you?

i was a teen babysitting...my own sibblings. i was forced to watch my baby sister every day (even weekends) without being paid, and i never got to go out with my friends. i wouldnt mind babysitting if it wasnt so that my mom could go to bars and to her friends houses. what is your opnion on teens being responsible for their younger sibblings when its not really their responsibility?





my opnion, parents make their teens take responsiblity for their babies but dont want teens to have children of their own even after they have reassured them that they are capable of taking care of one. I hated my mother for making my spend my entire teen years at home babysitting, even after i got my car (that my boyfriend {now husband} bought me, not my parents) she wouldnt let me take my sister to the movies, the park, or anywhere for that matter. now that im out of the house and on my own she has actually made my brothers girlfriend babysit or she threatened to turn her in for having sex with my bro.

Mom's of teens and teens, please answer if this involves you?
I dont think its appropriate for a parent to make a child watch their siblings ALL the time, if its just so the parent can go out and have fun. It is important for an adult to get away from the everyday stresses of life once in a while, and I dont think its too much to ask for the oldest to watch the others for a little while, if they are responsible enough, and are rewarded in some way for it (money, priveleges, etc.) But it sounds to me like your mom was using you, from the information you gave. I DO know how you feel. My parents had to work a lot. I was NOT the oldest child, I had 2 older brothers still at home, and a younger brother. Even though there were older brothers, I was the one who had to watch my little brother for 3-4 days a week, as soon as I got home from school, until midnite or later. My older bros got out of it because they had "sports" and were in "bands". Plus, I was more responsible. My little brother had a lot of anger and emotional problems and was extremely difficult to deal with. However, my parents needed me because they were working and trying to support a total of 6 of us kids, AND my grandparents. I was really bitter for a long time, and jealous that my brothers got to be normal teenagers, and I had to be the 3rd parent in the family. I did all the housework for all the people in the house (there were times that there were 9 of us in the house). I also had to help with the rebuilding of our house. We had to gut the entire thing and remodel it one room at a time. I had to do just as much work as the boys did, in addition to the house cleaning and babysitting. I had to live in the laundry room for 3 years until my bedroom was finally finished, and even then I had to share it with my little brother who is 8 years younger. Like I said, I was pretty bitter for a while. Then I realized something. I could either hold on to my anger, and let it drag me down in life, ORRR... I could take some valuable lessons from the experience and grow to be a stronger, responsible adult. I recommend that you take a long hard look at your options too. What your mom did may have been wrong, but you can learn from her example, and know what kind of parent you DONT want to be. Today, I am proud to say that while my peers are partying, skipping college classes, or having kids that they dont take care of, I am a 21 year old happily married mother of a 2 year old little girl. I own a home business to bring in extra money while still being able to stay at home and raise my own child. I am happier and more succesful at my age than I ever thought I could be, simply because I decided to learn from my own mistakes and the mistakes of others, instead letting them drag me down and use them as an excuse to be miserable. Your life is in your hands. Yeah, your teenage-hood sucked, but because you have experienced that, you can make your adult-hood an incredible time. Your life is in your hands, and while some of these people may feel sorry for you, I dont feel sorry for you at all. You have the chance to let this make you stronger. Take it.





PS: your brother would be the one to get in trouble, not his girlfriend. Its called statutory rape. Since your brother is the adult one, he could be convicted of it and they wouldnt do a thing to his girlfriend at all. She is considered the "victim". Hello! Your mom is either stupid for not knowing that, or she thinks you and your brother are too stupid to know that and is making empty threats. Either way, it would be her own kid that got in trouble.
Reply:i know exactly how you feel although im not living at my moms house i am living at my husbands mothers house and she has a 2 year old and leaves me with her every time she wants she doesnt even say any thing and nither does the dad and im getting sick of it because i plan on going on walks or something and then i get stuck with a kid we pay rent and everything but i still get stuck and my husband still has to pay full rent i dont think its fair either so thats why we are trying to find a place of our own and maybe since you have a husband you and him could do the same nothing fancy just somewhere other then your moms house oh and if your mom reported your brothers g/f the g/f wouldnt get into trouble your brother would
Reply:I was in the same boat as you from the time i was 8, my mother left my father and was left raising us alone so she had to work all the time double shifts everyday ect and I got stuck taking care of my two younger brothers who are now 17 and 15. I am now 20.


Anyways i could not go out with my friends or anything for that matter because i had to be home to watch them.I was doing what my mother should have been doing helping with homework, cooking dinner, cleaning the house, putting them to bed, getting them up for school ect it was hard and i despised my mother because i didn't have real teenage experience so for that i left my mothers house when i was 16 and never went back. I started working when i was 16 to pay my own bills and got kicked out of school because i never went due to work.
Reply:well once my older brother died, i was in charge of baby sitting all my younger siblings, theres 7 of us kids still alive and i have to watch all 6 of them. im 15 and since my mom is a single parent i am ALWAYS home babysitting them. they don't behave they make big messes and i don't get paid. i hate it but i still do it
Reply:I know exactly how you feel. In the summer i had to babysit 4 days a week, each time 2 and a half hours. i barely ever got to see my friends at all. My sisters even started to call me, mommy, because my mom spent so much time with my brother and not at all with us.


i agree with you when you say that it isn't our responsibility! i was just born oldest. i didn't have sex and have 4 kids! i just had to. my mom complains that she has no time because she has so many kids, but she chose to. i feel sorry for your brother's girlfriend. thats a hard situation.
Reply:wow your mom is a bi***. I think its good for teens to have chores to do, to teach responsibility, but when parents want them to do everything as if they are their personal slave, its very wrong. they dont let their children enjoy their years as a child/teen, and congress should pass a law to prevent this kind of thing.





btw if your mom does turn your brothers girlfirend in she could be arrested as well. One reason, she knew it was happening and didnt do anything about it, and she blackmailed her. You should tell her that and see if she will do anything.
Reply:Tell your brothers girlfriend to tell your Mom that it is her son who will be in trouble for having sex with her, that she wont be in any trouble at all. I have known other girls who practically raised thier brothers and sisters and its not fun. There isnt any thing you can do to change your Mom tho so just let it go and quit worrying about it.
Reply:your mothers new babysitter would be doing jail time. Your mother is screwed up and needs help. be thankful to be away from her
Reply:Your bro shouldn't be having sex with a girl so young - it is against the law so what else do you need to know about it?


That said, I agree that parents shouldn't make siblings into free full-time babysitters. They should always be paid if they babysit at all.
Reply:Wow. Your mom is.........I don't know what. You need to report this to someone! Police, perhaps? If you do report it, the whole thing about your bro and his girlfriend won't happen, because the fact she has no proof about it. At least, I think. PRAY! That helps, too. Jesus Christ can do many things, if you just ask Him. I hope this helps.





God Bless!
Reply:I think any parent who expects their older children to give up their lives to babysit a sibling is selfish and wrong. Children should be raised by parents, not brothers and sisters.


I know that sometimes parents need help and if it's not very often, the help should be offered. But it sounds like your mother used you so she could party and not have to pay a babysitter. Wrong!


We got custody of my stepdaughter because of this reason. She didn't have a life because she was too busy babysitting. And she began watching her newborn sister when she was only 8!


Your mom is sick! The threats she is making prove that she probably shouldn't even have the children. Your brothers girlfriend should stay away. She's poison.If you don't think the children are being cared for, call CPS.
Reply:strict mom!!!it is not any of ur responsibilties to watch the little kids! i am surprised the girlfriend didnt break up with ur brother! i would confront her about ur feelings!
Reply:i'm 16, and i believe that if your parents once in a while need someone to watch your younger siblings you should do it without complaining. however if it becomes a regular thing, or if it starts to interfere with your life too much i think some kind of compensation is fair. for example i have my license and my parents make me take my little sisters to school or a doctors appt or whatever. they then pay for the gas since i am spending more time doing favors for them than driving myself somewhere. your mom sounds pretty manipulative to me, seeing as she punished the girl by making her babysit when your brother is the older one and should take responsibility. granted, it is illegal and unhealthy for there to be such an age difference but it is unfair for your mother to use it to her advantage.
Reply:I know how you feel - i have a mate who has a mum who does this to her - my friend is one of 6 sibling - 1 of which is 18 and is now off enjoying her life - and then my friend has to sit her younger sisters and brother - their ages are 12, 8, 6, 4 - and she is 14 and it drives her crazy because her mum is like "Can you just look after the kids while i pop of for a few hours. I feel really sorry for her - and for you!





Personally, i consider myself very lucky as my mum says she will never get me to look after my little sister unless i want to or if it's a complete emergency. I am 14 and my sister is 11, and even still my mum says i never HAVE TO look after if i don't want to. She leaves it completely up to me which i respect because as she is asking, i think well - i suppose i could as she hasn't forced it upon me.